HI there, all you young-at-hearters and any youngies game enough to have a peek into the future.

I am a journalist in my 50s with a cheeky slant on life and I know through my work  that there are a lot more sassy baby boomers out there -  more ‘out there’  than I am. They are my inspiration.

This site will have their stories plus articles on every aspect of ageing in style – even disgracefully. Don’t worry, we are not concentrating on sexual matters, although that will be part of  it.

Use it or lose it relates to the mind, body and soul.

Matters concerning love, health, careers, education, adventure, family and friendship will be the main thrust of this site.

Most importantly, all content will be original. I have some great interviewees and story ideas lined up.

Stay tuned for more.

Cheers,
Diane.

We lived in the present and history was something for the classroom, and then only because we had to listen to it – for those of us who were not real history buffs. And even for those of us interested in the history of world events, we did not usually relate them to our own families. It was not cool to even stay too long  in the room of relatives as they reminisced about the “good old days”.

But as we move to our middle years, with our children grown up having children of their own, suddenly we

Researching your family tree can be fun

are interested in our family history. And that is usually because our children are starting to show an interest.

Suddenly knowing about your past is cool – fueled by reality tv programs aimed at people trying to find out about their forebears.

Trouble is, Nanna is gone, Uncle Fred and your parents are either gone or gone soft and you have only a few snippets of information in your head as well as a suitcase of un-named, fading photographs.

It is time to rally what family you have left – if your parents and their siblings are not around, consider their cousins and of course your cousins who may have listened a bit more attentively than you did.

What I am talking about here is an anecdotal history of your family, a good place to start weaving your family story. Before you get down to the serious business of a proper geneological study of your family, those anecdotes you have heard, even if they do not have firm dates, places or events, are an important part of  your family’s story.

You may think that researching your family tree with names, dates of births and deaths is the best, even the only way to go but any stories from relatives adds to the rich tapestry of your family history. Writing those stories down will spur you on to the harder task of  researching your family tree.

So, to start with:

• Interview and film surviving relatives, even if you think their memories are dimming;

• Organise a family reunion with as many branches of the family as you can as you may find a distant relative knows something worthwhile about your family;

• Write down your own life story as it could start a trend copied by subsequent generations;

• Catalogue family photos with names, dates and places if you can and separate them from photos with no data;

• Start the process of doing your family tree and tracing ancestors with the help of genealogy experts which you will find online.

Most important thing to remember is HAVE FUN, even if the task seems overwhelming. Take one step at a time and enjoy the journey.

Piecing together the puzzle of your family story is a great activity for your retirement but also a good way to spend your spare time if you are still working – meeting relatives at those sunny-day picnics and sorting through photos and writing on the rainy weekends.

And don’t forget there could be the  chance to travel if you really want to go that far.

http://www.ancestry.com.au/

http://www.findmypast.com/

http://www.tracingyourancestors.com/

]]> http://www.useitorloseitclub.com/news/discoveringyourfamilyshistorybeforeitstoolate/feed/ 1 http://www.useitorloseitclub.com/health/teaching-old-dogs-new-tricks-minding-your-mind/ http://www.useitorloseitclub.com/health/teaching-old-dogs-new-tricks-minding-your-mind/#comments Wed, 27 May 2009 13:13:43 +0000 Diane http://www.useitorloseitclub.com/?p=65

Mixing with younger people keeps your mind active

NEXT time you brush your teeth, do it with the hand you do not usually use. It will be one small step in revving up your brain, exercising it to help stave off mental deterioration and even dementia.

As we age, the brain needs new challenges more than it ever has. Complacency will make it go sluggish, just as lack of physical exercise leads to a sick and sad body.

Medical research has shown that the brain need not deteriorate with age – in fact, it can grow new neurons at any age. But it needs your help. You have to start thinking in new ways and stop taking your brain and what it has given you for granted.

It is fair enough that we have accepted what talents we have during our lives and used them in our professions or leisure time. If you are good with numbers, you may have become an accountant or financial whizz or maths teacher; if you are artistic, you are likely to be an artist of some sort; good with words, you may write for pleasure or profit.

But having used those talents for most of your life, you have been mostly exercising the part of the brain that rules your particular aptitude, neglecting possible other talents. As I said, that is fair enough when you are younger as it has got you to where you are now presumably.

Now it is time to rev up the old brain – and have fun doing so. It is certainly more fun than exercising the body, if you are a sloth like moi.

Using your left hand if you are right handed and vice versa for simple tasks such as eating and brushing your teeth is a good place to start, although trying to change your writing hand might be taking things too far.

However, playing games which exercise your brain in new ways definitely needs to be considered.

For all of us, learning a new language tops the list of brain exercises. Best way to do that is in a class, perhaps at evening adult education sessions. That way, you also have social interaction, another essential to warding off dementia. And, it also has another practical purpose if, like so many baby boomers, you plan to travel.

And we all should be keeping up with technology, going to computer classes if necessary.

But then there are the fun games that work your “lazy” part of the brain, the part that has been snoozing for most of your life.

Hence you literary types should tackle number games such as sudoko (I can spell it better than I can play it but I’m trying). Or try relearning your times tables – you could find you enjoy it more than you did when you had to learn it by rote in grade school.  And, as much as possible, add up numbers rather than use a calculator.

Mathematicians, have a go at crosswords, scrabble or jumble-word games you often see in newspapers and magazines.

Artists, try some writing that actually makes sense and don’t be afraid to open a dictionary (having an artist son, I know they can struggle with literacy). You also would benefit from word games as well as number games.

Other games and activities to suit us all are:

• Cards, remembering rules of the game and enjoying company;
• Chess, concentration and planning strategy;
• Jigsaw puzzles, solitary but calming and using memory and  logic;
• Bingo, company as well as concentration;
• Trivia games, for fun, social interaction and memory.
• Ballroom dancing for exercise, social interaction and memory.
• Craft, art or woodwork classes for company and learning new useful skills.

These are but some of the examples of games and activities to exercise the old brain and mix with people at the same time.

Social interaction with a variety of people is more essential in older years than it ever was. In fact, you should be extending your friendships rather than holding on to the few you have had most of your life. And, ideally, you should be mixing with people of different ages as that is  good way to keep up with contemporary thinking and stops you from becoming an old grouch. Have dinner parties with different age groups – the conversation is bound to be varied and you might learn something new.

While life experience naturally means you have greater knowledge in many areas, you can still learn from younger generations. And it goes without saying that the young ones learn from us as well.

Best way to mix with younger people is to do a course that is likely to have a wide range of ages, rather than just courses aimed at older folk. You might also want to consider helping out at your grandchildrens’ schools, reading to the children perhaps. This gives children an appreciation of older people as well, especially those who may not have grandparents alive.

I am not a great fan of senior people moving into retirement or “lifestyle” villages before they have to because I think that isolates older people. Of course, retirement villages, especially for frail old people. But, if you are just past retirement age and physically active, you should stay in your home, with the necessary back-up for as long as possible. I will look at the pros and cons of retirement villages in more depth in another article.

So these are good strategies for exercising the intellect. You will still need to do physical exercise. Yep, no way around it – a healthy body equals a healthy mind.

You need at least half an hour a day of aerobic exercise to get the blood pumping to all areas of the body, especially the brain.  Walking, swimming and cycling are good activities which are inexpensive and sustainable.

Now, have I forgotten something? Probably, alas.

Engaging in interesting conversation keeps the mind sharp

NOW where did I put my keys? Oh, my God, I’m losing it – I’m heading for dementia just like dad . . .

This is a common cry among people as they age, even while we are still in middle age. When young people forget things, we put it down to them having too much going on in their lives. But when we baby boomers forget dates and where we put things when we are older, we think we are losing our minds, that we are sliding into the pit of dementia – especially if our parents also suffered it.

Many people as they slide into middle age will ask “what is dementia”, especially as  there a few different categories of it, alzheimer’s being one of them.

But dementia is not a definite aspect of age. We do not have to get it, even if our parents and grandparents had it. The mind can be exercised like any other part of the body to avoid dementia, or at least to lessen its effect.

Like with our bodies, a healthy mind falls into the use it or lose it category. And the body and mind go hand in hand, so to speak.

The mind has a greater chance of staying healthy if the body is healthy. Yep, no way around this – exercise and good diet are the keys to keeping the mind nimble, as essential as exercising the mind.

Physical exercise which keeps the blood pumping ensures that the body and mind can keep working well into old age – and it is not too late to start in middle age. In other words, use it or lose it NOW.

Specific brain exercises for the brain include word games, mathematical puzzles, learning another language or learning any new skill, reading news articles every day and socialising with people of all ages as much as possible.

Even dancing the light fantastic helps exercise the brain as well as body and gives you a great emotional lift.

As for physical fitness, walking for at least 30 minutes a day, swimming or cycling are the best, least expensive ways to keep fit or get fit. But take it easy to start with and discuss any new exercise with your doctor first.

So, what is dementia?

No simple answer here as there are three main types:

Vascular dementia

A common form of dementia, it develops when there is impaired blood flow to parts of the brain, depriving cells of food and oxygen.

It can often strike after a major stroke blocks a large blood vessel to a significant portion of the brain.

It can also come after a series of very small strokes, or infarcts, block small blood vessels and cause damage over time.

With vascular dementia, symptoms include impaired memory, confusion, difficulty concentrating and following instructions, inability to carry out everyday activities and often physical weakness or permanent impairment.

Sometimes, the person loses the ability to speak or to comprehend the written word.

Alzheimer’s

This is the cruelest form,  the one most feared. Some people think this is the only form of dementia as it is the one most talked about and the one with the most dire outcome.

It also is the form of dementia most likely to be inherited and the one form which is less responsive to preventative treatment, although onset can still be lessened if  general physical and mental health have been maintained.

One of the most common signs of Alzheimer’s, especially in the early stages, is forgetting recently learned information. Others include forgetting important dates or events,  asking the same questions over and over, relying on memory prompts such as reminder notes.

People with Alzheimer’s may forget names and appointments but remember them later.

Some may start to have difficulty working with numbers or following a familiar recipe or paying bills.

The afflicted have trouble understanding something that is not happening right away or forget familiar places or people they do not see everyday. Eventually they may forget familiar people, including their nearest and dearest. That is why it is such a cruel and feared disease.

Just as frightening is the changes in mood and personality of the person with Alzheimer’s. They can become  confused, suspicious, depressed, fearful or anxious. They may be easily upset at home, at work, with friends or in places where they are out of their comfort zone.
With this form of dementia, changes to the person are more evident than with vascular dementia.

Mixed dementia

Mixed dementia is a condition in which Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia occur at the same time. Many experts believe mixed dementia occurs more often than was previously realized and that it becomes increasingly common in advanced age.

Experts recommend suspecting mixed dementia whenever a person has both evidence of cardiovascular disease and dementia symptoms that get worse slowly.

DON’T PANIC TOO SOON

Reading these dementia symptoms, you may be worried you are in the running, especially if you are starting to forget things more than you used to, so here is a helpful list of when to seek medical advice and when to relax a bit. We all forget things, even young people, so don’t immediately think the worse.

• Concern: Poor judgment and decision making; No concern: Making a bad decision once in a while
• Concern: Inability to manage a budget; No concern: Missing a monthly payment
• Concern: Losing track of the date or the season; No concern: Forgetting which day it is and remembering later
• Concern: Difficulty having a conversation; No concern: Sometimes forgetting which word to use
• Concern: Misplacing things and being unable to retrace steps to find them; No concern: Losing things from time to time

Our compulsion to spend points to the love of life our generation has – the wish to get more out of our senior years than our parents and grandparents did.

But now there is another factor affecting our childrens’  inheritance – the current global financial crisis which has seen many of  us lose at least some of the money we had, or planned on having.

Up until now, we were the generation spending freely on travel, holiday homes, boats, new cars, caravans, fashionable clothes, beauty treatments – and let’s not forget the bucket loads of cash we spend on hair dye!

We in our fifties, the so-called baby boomers, are the generation which does not want to get old. But we might have to grow up if we want enough money for our retirement, let alone leaving any behind for the kids.

Of course, young people are worse-affected in the current financial times if they don’t have anything behind them and have just started buying a home. And now there is less chance of  them being helped by their parents than during the good times when their free-spending parents had money to give them while they could.

For one of the reasons we oldies were not leaving much behind was because we were spoiling our kids while we were still here – while also spending freely on ourselves.

We have not taught our kids much about frugality, how to get through the tough times because we foolishly did not think that the tough times that our parents and grandparents suffered would ever come again.

Our parents probably tried to teach us but they also wanted to give us a better life than they had. For a start, they were more open to spending money on our education than their parents had spent on theirs.

My mother barely went to school and it was considered really odd if  girls or boys stayed on to graduate for university, unless they were very bright and their parents were rich.

So we were the first generation to be highly educated, highly paid and . . . big spenders.

If only our grannies were still around to tell us how to make do on less.

Whichever way it goes – whether we spend as we had been or lose it through the financial crisis, there still will not be that pot of gold for our children.

It is all about quality over quantity and that quality can be some leap – at least for women, according to one of my favourite sexperts Tracey Cox.

Darling Tracey has delivered the wonderful news that women will have more orgasms as they get older! Well, it’s about time we started to have as much fun as the men.

And, as men get older? Tracey made the unremarkable observation that men are stimulated by visual images. Hey, that’s the same for men of all ages, isn’t it? Tracey was not clear whether the men are stimulated by the sight of their same-age mates or their imaginings of more nubile models. Now, let me guess …

Anyway, the good news for women is that 90 per cent past 30 regularly experience orgasm, compared to just 23 per cent of younger women.

That is despite frequency of bedroom action dropping from an average 112 times a year for 18 to 29 year olds to 69 (the magic number!) times a year after 40.

Oh, well, you can’t have everything. And there would be many of you old devils who get fired up much more than a mere 69 times a year, especially as a growing number of us have repartnered.

Some of us in our 50s are in new relationships and, while we might not be bonking like we would have been as 25 year olds in love, we are giving it a good damn try.

It all comes down to the theme of this site – use it or lose it.

But do be careful.  It can be embarrassing if you have to take time off work because you have done your back in being over-enthusiastic between the sheets. And what would our children say? They’d be jealous for a start!

Poor Caroline Cartwright, a 47 year old Englishwoman has been sent to jail for making too much noise during lovemaking.

Her nosy, and no doubt sexually-frustrated neighbours, complained about her shouting and screaming as she and her husband were having a good time – and now she is headed for jail because she breached the court order which had banned her from making any more noise.

You can’t keep a bad woman down, it seems. Good on you Caroline.

But reading this has frightened me a bit, especially as my partner has suggested he gag me during sex. Well, I don’t mind gagging occasionally – but I took it the wrong way. I got it when he started tearing up old sheets into long strips and had a sinister gleam in his eye.

Honestly, what is the point of keeping sexually active in your senior years if you can’t shout it from the rooftops  – or at least from your bedpost?

And, remember folks, you want to be shouting in ecstasy rather than agony. So keep the old bods moving and grooving!

Source: Noisy sex recordings played in court

Diane and her dad enjoy a hug at Christmas 2008, just hours before he had his first stroke.

My daddy, at 82, has already lived a couple of years more than his mother and, while he is headed for a similar ending, he has enjoyed better health for longer.

By getting his act together when he retired at 61, my father gave himself greater quality of life for longer than his mother enjoyed.

His 61st year was a big one. He gave up smoking, drinking and overeating. He walked more and started to enjoy life.

His mother, on the other hand, remained a heavy drinker and smoker until she had her first stroke at 68. Within a couple of years, she had her big stroke which put her in a nursing home, paralysed down one side and without speech for the last 10 years of her life.

Dad, on the other hand, suffered his first stroke last Christmas, just before his 82nd birthday. He also started developing dementia a few years ago and also type II diabetes but his doctors say that his life would have been more debilitating if he had not cleaned up his act at 61.

Of course, it would have been far better if he had got his health on track in his 40s or 50s. He would then have possibly avoided the diabetes and maybe the dementia.  My doctor told me that the 50s is your last-chance decade to turn your life around if you are heading towards diabetes, dementia and stroke.  He said this while looking sternly at me – a very overweight (oh, okay, technically obese) 52 year old.

I should get the message, given the health of my forebears, shouldn’t I?

Another good example of how fitness can beat your family health traits is my Uncle Nick, 87, and still getting about despite having suffered his first stroke in his 50s. I have lost count of how many strokes and heart attacks my uncle has had.  He also has beat bowel cancer.

So why is he still here? Plain and simple – fitness. He has remained active, walking everywhere, swimming and keeping his weight in check.

These stories are anecdotes, sure, but they illustrate the importance of getting fit – at any age.