Don’t shout it from the rooftops

Now, if you can’t make a noise during sex in middle age, when can you?

Poor Caroline Cartwright, a 47 year old Englishwoman has been sent to jail for making too much noise during lovemaking.

Her nosy, and no doubt sexually-frustrated neighbours, complained about her shouting and screaming as she and her husband were having a good time – and now she is headed for jail because she breached the court order which had banned her from making any more noise.

You can’t keep a bad woman down, it seems. Good on you Caroline.

But reading this has frightened me a bit, especially as my partner has suggested he gag me during sex. Well, I don’t mind gagging occasionally – but I took it the wrong way. I got it when he started tearing up old sheets into long strips and had a sinister gleam in his eye.

Honestly, what is the point of keeping sexually active in your senior years if you can’t shout it from the rooftops  – or at least from your bedpost?

And, remember folks, you want to be shouting in ecstasy rather than agony. So keep the old bods moving and grooving!

Source: Noisy sex recordings played in court

How not to lose it too soon . . . . perhaps

Diane and her dad enjoy a hug at Christmas 2008, just hours before he had his first stroke.

My daddy, at 82, has already lived a couple of years more than his mother and, while he is headed for a similar ending, he has enjoyed better health for longer.

By getting his act together when he retired at 61, my father gave himself greater quality of life for longer than his mother enjoyed.

His 61st year was a big one. He gave up smoking, drinking and overeating. He walked more and started to enjoy life.

His mother, on the other hand, remained a heavy drinker and smoker until she had her first stroke at 68. Within a couple of years, she had her big stroke which put her in a nursing home, paralysed down one side and without speech for the last 10 years of her life.

Dad, on the other hand, suffered his first stroke last Christmas, just before his 82nd birthday. He also started developing dementia a few years ago and also type II diabetes but his doctors say that his life would have been more debilitating if he had not cleaned up his act at 61.

Of course, it would have been far better if he had got his health on track in his 40s or 50s. He would then have possibly avoided the diabetes and maybe the dementia.  My doctor told me that the 50s is your last-chance decade to turn your life around if you are heading towards diabetes, dementia and stroke.  He said this while looking sternly at me – a very overweight (oh, okay, technically obese) 52 year old.

I should get the message, given the health of my forebears, shouldn’t I?

Another good example of how fitness can beat your family health traits is my Uncle Nick, 87, and still getting about despite having suffered his first stroke in his 50s. I have lost count of how many strokes and heart attacks my uncle has had.  He also has beat bowel cancer.

So why is he still here? Plain and simple – fitness. He has remained active, walking everywhere, swimming and keeping his weight in check.

These stories are anecdotes, sure, but they illustrate the importance of getting fit – at any age.